Welcome to the July issue of my Blog...www.TheUrbanShaman.blogspot.com

It’s Been a Year!!!
"Happy 1st Anniversary"
to
"The Urban Shaman Blog"
Thank You for your Support...

The theme for this month is:
Being your Best You...
By Gettin' Out of Your Own Way!

I hope you are enjoying these blogs...
It is my pleasure to share this information to you all.

This month’s article is a "revisit" or continuation, if you will...
“Expectations”... Part 2

I recently observed how when, what we expect doesn’t go our way, or happen the way we want, we sometimes forget to BREATHE before we react thus causing negative results... the disappointment and general funky-ness that we act out, sometimes has detrimental effects on the others in our lives who... usually have nothing to do with our drama. When we stay focused in the present moment, and take a step back (breathe), we then can react with Grace, Kindness and with more Self-control.

Life is not just a journey... make it an adventure!

ENJOY The Ride!
Peace N' Blessings,
Gail Oliver

Expectations.... part 2

We all have ideas of the way we want things to turn out.
We expect certain results to come from our actions.
We desire certain outcomes.

People often say. “Don’t have any expectations.” But that is not realistic. We are going to have expectations, just as we are going to have judgments, fears and desires. It doesn’t make sense to try and get rid of our expectations, just as it doesn’t make sense to try to get rid of our judgments, fears and desires.

The real issue is ‘How do we hold our expectations when they come up?”

If we try to impose our expectations on the reality at hand, we will be disappointed if they are not met. If we pretend not to have expectations, we will be dishonest with ourselves and others.

Instead of imposing or denying our expectations, we just want to be aware of them and hold them with compassion. Then, we can accept the outcome regardless of whether our expectations are met.

Expectations arise in consciousness just as do fears, desires and judgments. We need to be aware of them and let them be. We don’t need to hold onto them or push them away.

Life doesn’t always show up the way we want it to. In fact, it could be said that the more we want it to show up a certain way, the less chance there is that it will happen that way. Our attachment to specific results often puts pressure on ourselves and others. It makes it more difficult for things to unfold naturally. As a result, we experience struggle and resistance.

The best results happen when we are CLEAR about what we want, COMMUNICATE well with others and DO THE BEST WE CAN. Then, we can live without regret. Even if things show up differently from the way we expect them to, we don’t take this personally. We don’t feel that we have failed or that we are being punished.

Instead, we try to accept the situation as it is and learn what we can from it. We don’t stuff our disappointment and frustration, but acknowledge them, while keeping our hearts and our minds open. We know that things change, and what appeared to be a setback can sometimes become a blessing in disguise.

Life has its ups and downs, its ebb, and its flow. The same can be found in our own lives. Sometimes we are joyful; other times we are sad. Sometimes we are confident and loving and sometimes we are fearful and defensive. Our lives are composed of waves of thought and feeling. External events have the same fluctuations.

When we are patient, we know that things are always changing. Peaks become valleys. Sadness yields to joy. What seems like failure might be success in disguise. Life is not always what it appears to be. We have to surrender what we know to discover what we don’t know.

Sidebar: When we have expectations from manipulative or covert intentions... we will always have disappointments... The key is to always be honest with yourself and set honest intentions with no hidden agendas, then you won't be sittin' around lookin' 'tupid (yes I meant that) because it didn't go your way.
The truth will always set you free, even if it is from yourself.

Staying in the Present

Regardless of what happened yesterday, last week or last year, we have a new situation with new choices available to us right now. The pain or frustration of the past does not have to become present pain or frustration. Even if the external situation seems the same as it did in the past, we can bring a new perspective to it.

The present always offers us a different look at or a different choice, if we are willing to see it.

The question is “Are we willing.”

To be sure, it is easier to see the past than it is to see the present. The past does not change. We know what it looks like, so we don’t have to be alert. Seeing the past lulls us to sleep. Being in the present requires our full, conscious attention. The best way to put our past behind us is to learn from it...

If you want to see someone skilled in being in the present, observe athletes in a basketball, football, or hockey games. The action is constantly changing. Every pick or roll or block or check creates new possibilities. Seeing those possibilities as soon as they emerge is essential.

If we are to be successful in our lives, we need to cultivate our ability to be present and alert. Having an open mind and open heart helps us stay alert in the present moment. When we are alert, we bring patience, flexibility, and willingness to each situation. We sink down through our judgments, our desires and our fears to the essence of our being, where we can respond uniquely and appropriately to the situation at hand.

From... Grace Unfolding. By, Paul Ferrini