Year’s End...
A Time For
New Beginnings

Well it’s the end of the year again... Seems the year's-end comes around faster and faster.

As we look back on 2007... Our growth... Our accomplishments... Lessons learned... The loses...
The new relationships... The vicissitudes of life...

Know that this is when you can reflect on all these experiences with profound gratitude and set powerful intentions for an abundantly prosperous new year... My wish to you all is... A fresh start with unlimited possibilities.

Here are two quotes for your New Year!

“Every man believes that he has a greater possibility”
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves.
The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”
~unknown

Life is not just a journey...
make it an adventure!
ENJOY! & Much love to you all...

Gail the Groovy


My friend, Ralph Warren, in Antwerp, Belgium shared this with me, and I am sharing it with you...

The Four Candles
of Life...


The Four Candles burned slowly. Their ambiance was so soft you could hear them speak.

The first candle said, " I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to keep me lit." Then Peace's flame slowly diminished and went out completely.

The second candle said, " I Am Faith, but these days, I am no longer indispensable." Then Faith's flame slowly diminished and went out completely.

Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the strength to stay lit any longer. People put me aside and don't understand my importance. They even forget to love those who are nearest to them." And waiting no longer, Love went out completely.

Suddenly, a child entered the room and saw the three candles no longer burning. The child began to cry, "Why are you not burning? You are supposed to stay lit until the end." Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the little boy, " Don't be afraid, for I am hope, and while I still burn, we can relight the other candles." With shining eyes, the child took the Candle of Hope and lit the other three candles. Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life. With Hope, no matter how bad things look, Peace, Faith, and Love can shine brightly in your life.
Author Unknown

The A, B, C’s of Happiness

Act - Take the first step for your life
Be Present - Be in the moment
Change - Change is uncomfortable, but change is the only constant in life
Determination - Are you committed to see you intentions become reality?
Energy - Be positive, your energy has an effect on everything

Fear - Have courage and your fears will disappear
Gratitude - Be grateful for everything in your life
Humanity - Compassion for others
Intentions - The first step to your success
Joy - Loving your life as it is
Know Yourself - Who are you... really? If U don’t know U, U can’t see others
Loving - Open your heart to love, because love is all.
Meditation - Is the key to knowing yourself and spirit.
Nice - You catch more bees with honey than with vinegar
Optimistic - Be optimistic, everything will work out
Passion - Find what you love to do and Do what you love
Quiet - Be still and know...
Restoration - Take time to restore yourself... Heal yourself
Self Awareness - Know yourself, Love yourself, Be yourself, Be authentic.
Trust - Trust that everything is unfolding as it should
Understanding - Without it you will never know compassion
Visualize - Think it, See it, Be it...
Willingness - Be willing to give of yourself
Xenial - Be kind to others/guests
Yes - Say yes to living your dreams
Zenith - Realize your power, you are perfect whole and complete!

“All high achievers plan their work and work their plan, for they are keenly aware that "luck" is most often being prepared to take advantage of a situation.”
INTENTION + ACTION = SUCCESS
unknown...

Some Things to
Make You Say...
Hummmmm

The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow. What are your intentions? How have you prepared?

Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail. Be kind in your dealings, being better than or superior to... breeds contempt in others. And it will always make you work harder for the same outcome.

If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.
Oscar the Wilde said... “Life is too short to be taken seriously”
Laughing at yourself is a great gift.

Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs. An ounce of prevention beats a pound of cure any day... Regrets are no fun...

A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're angry. People will remember your kindness... but being cruel will erase that kindness for a lifetime. .

Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without. Cut to the chase and cut the excess... Time is precious.

Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks? You are as young as you feel, there are no requirements for you being who you feel you are at any age. (of course, being insipid does not count :DOH)

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job. Feeding the egos of attentions seekers and fools does not pay a good pension... and the sacrifice is your “self”.

No one has more driving ambition than the kid who wants to buy a car. Remember to call up that same determination, drive and imagination in all you desire to accomplish.

There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity. You reap what you sow... Cause and Effect... Karma.... Only you an prevent your own living hell.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number. Be grateful for you family and friends.

Think about this ... No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning. The trick is to show the same grace when you are losing and without failure, there can be no real success.

Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. Next time you want to sign something without reading it thoroughly... Think of the Sub-Prime market crash this year... You are the only person responsible for your actions...
nuf said.

inspired by an email... and embellished....

HAPPY
NEW YOU

HAPPY NEW
YEAR !

Peace n' Blessings!!!!

A Season for Gratitude
Giving Thanks

November is the Start of the
Holiday Season...

I wish you and yours a wonderful and...
Happy Thanksgiving...
Also, if you have any suggestions for future blogs... Use the “comments” button on the bottom of this months blog... or email me at: TheUrbanShaman@aol.com
Life is not just a journey... make it an adventure!
ENJOY!
Much love to you all...
Love n' Light,
Gail Oliver

A Season For Gratitude...

Gratitude is the substance of a heart ready to show appreciation, or thankfulness; it is not simply an emotion, which involves a pleasant feeling that can occur when we receive a favor or benefit from another person but rather the combination of a state of being and an emotion; often accompanied by a desire to thank them, or to reciprocate for a favor they have done for you.

When you live charged with gratitude, you will give thanks for anything or anyone who has benefited you, whether they meant to or not. Imagine a giving thanks when the driver in the car next to you lets you merge without protest, or when the water flows from the tap, or you have a place of shelter on a cold night.

When you open up to the trait of gratitude, you see clearly and accurately how much good there is in your life. Gratitude affirms. Those things you are lacking are still there, and in reaching for gratitude no one is saying you ought to ignore or those shortcomings. But most of us tend to focus so heavily on the deficiencies in our lives that we barely acknowledge the good that balances them.

When gratitude is established, it is a sign of a heart that has been made right and whole. Gratitude opens the heart. Gratitude can't coexist with arrogance, resentment, and selfishness.

A simple and effective way to practice gratitude is by making giving thanks part of your everyday life.

Giving Thanks

Do you take many things in your life for granted? By looking at the world a little differently, you just might realize how much you have to be thankful for. Here's how to stop and smell the roses.

The Steps...

• Pay attention to the people around you. You will find that everybody has
something to worry or complain about, not just you. It's easy to focus on those who seem to have it all, but you never know what's going on inside. They might look happy, but they might be miserable as well. Don't look at others and think "I should have it like they do." Look at those who aren't as fortunate as you are and take note of blessed you are. Count your blessings. If it helps, consider volunteering or start a relationship with someone who is not as fortunate and find small or gradual ways to help them.

• Practice acceptance. Stop dwelling on how things should be, what could've been, and what you don't have. Recognize what you do have--whether you like it or not, it's yours to keep or to change. Accepting your lot in life is not about resigning yourself to unhappiness. It's about not wasting time wishing for what you don't have.

• Become a problem solver. Use your lemons to make lemonade. Get in the habit of asking yourself how you can turn the negative into a positive. The most successful people in life, and those who have the most to be grateful for, are also those who've endured tremendous trials and managed to persevere and turn it all around.

• Learn to see hardship as a chance to develop character. Imagine yourself looking back ten years from now and recounting your difficult circumstances, and being proud of how you handled it and worked through it.

• Develop a gratitude journal. It's pretty simple. At the end of every day, write down five things that have made you happy or appreciative that day; not necessarily big things, even small ones count.
For example: 1) nice weather, 2) being thanked by a customer at work, 3) my pet, 4) having people who love me, 5) a funny joke or a song you like.

• Take joy in the small things. Blow bubbles. Walk the dog. Get lost in the park. Goof off or watch a funny movie and have a good laugh. Life's treasures are the small pleasures; give thanks for each small gift you receive!

Tips

• Avoid negative people whose social interaction consists of comparing their lives and competing for who has it worse.

• Volunteering to help those in need will help put things in perspective.

Warnings

• Variation is a part of life; the seasons, day and night, hilltops and valleys, light and darkness.

• No matter how positive and thankful you are, remember that life will always have its ups and downs. You're going to have to take the good with the bad.
wikihow.com

Recipe for Feelin’ Groovy...

This appeared in a Dear Abby column from a newspaper dated May 1961. Here is a wonderful recipe for feeling good written by a woman named Maxine.

Recipe for Happiness
2 heaping cups of patience
1 heart full of love
2 handfuls of generosity
Dash of laughter
1 head of understanding
Sprinkle generously with kindness
Add plenty of faith and mix well.
Spread over a period of a lifetime and serve everybody you meet.

If you were to implement this recipe during the holidays as you interact with your family, you would be contributing to heaven on earth. If you were to commit to feeling good every moment, what a contribution to peace on the planet that would be! There is no greater gift.

Have a Happy and Joyous Thanksgiving.
Love and Light to you all!

Want to Save Some Money?

Are You Getting Enough
Alkaline Foods in Your Diet?

So October is about over...

One of my good friends, Dr. D, recently shared with me his latest wellness information. Alkaline and it's benefits. I know it sound tricky, but it's not... Want lower blood pressure, balance your blood sugars, have more energy, sleep better???? I thought so...I even included this easy diet's guidelines...
enJOY!

Let's all be healthier! That's why I hope you are enjoying these blogs... and passing them to your friends and family. This information is not something your doctor will tell you. If you are not in my database email me @ TheUrbanShaman@aol.com ...

Also, if you have any suggestions for future blogs... Use the “comments” button on the bottom of this months blog... or email me at: TheUrbanShaman@aol.com

Life is not just a journey... make it an adventure!
ENJOY!
Much love to you all...

Love n' Light,
Gail Oliver

Want to Save Some Money?
It’s easy and it's cheap too!

I know you'all are just about “Greened Out” but I tried an experiment and it worked.... For about $25, I went to Home Depot and bought 3 packages of Compact Fluorescent Light Bulbs (you know the funny curly looking bulbs)... When I got home I replaced all of my old school bulbs. I sat back and waited for my power bill...And to my surprise, what was usually $156.00 was $102.00. I saved $54 a month (The cost of a massage or facial or whatever you want to do). Now per year that is $648.00. I don’t know about you but... money is money, unless you are just a blatent consumer. The CF’s paid for themselves and saved me money in the first billing cycle.

If you want to save more money and you have a grand or two or three (depending on the size of your home, and you plan to stay put for a while), look into tankless water heaters. A friend of mine put one in his home last year or so, and saves roughly $50.00+ per month on his Gas Bill. The theory being... Why keep 75+ gallons of water heated to the boiling point 24/7 to only use 20 gallons to bathe or shower once a day. How much unrenewable energy are we wasting? Now you are up to $1,200.00 aa year savings... So the tankless water heater will be paid off in 2-3 years.

More to come!


Are You Getting Enough...
Alkaline Foods in Your Diet?

'Your health depends on an alkaline environment, created by eating foods such as tomatoes, avocados and green vegetables...striking the optimum 80/20 balance and regulating your body's acid/alkaline chemistry through simple changes in diet can result in weight loss, increased stamina and strength,a stronger immune system and a greater sense of wellbeing.'

How did we become so out of balance?

After years of societal changes, millions of dollars of marketing spent and technological advances we, as a race, are now facing more dietary based health challenges than ever before. It is no coincidence that the rapidly growing numbers of cancer, cardiovascular disease and diabetes correlate almost exactly with the rise in consumption of acid forming foods such as sugars, saturated fats, and white breads. At the same time our consumption of fresh vegetables and essential fatty acids has decreased dramatically, making way for convenience and a generation hooked on sugary treats.

Becoming Alkaline

This is not as difficult or as technical as it sounds. When we talk about eating alkaline foods or starting an alkaline diet we are referring to consuming those foods and drink which have an alkaline effect on the body. This effect is based upon the ash residue that remains after our foods are consumed. Some foods leave an acid ash, whereas others leave an alkaline ash. Conveniently for us, our bodies have been designed to categorize which foods leave which kind of ash into neat and easy to remember groups.

Of course, everybody is different - but most of us should aim to eat 75-80% alkaline foods and a maximum of 20-25% acid forming foods.

Why is the important?

When you body harbors too much acid, Myotoxins have a prime environment to flourish. Mycotoxins (fungal) and exotoxins (bacterial) are the poisonous waste that is generated by microforms. Microforms produce these extremely harmful toxins when they digest glucose, proteins and fats.

In an acidic environment, these toxins are given a license to grow rapidly and cause harm to tissues and bodily processes.

Microform growth occurs in an acidic environment, particularly following the consumption of sugars, alcohol, yeast and most acid forming food and drink. Symptoms of excess microforms and myco/exo-toxins include: autoimmune dis-ease, infections, fatigue, cancer, clogged arteries, diarrhea, asthma, colds, flu, tumors, cysts, insomnia, lethargy, headaches, over/underweight, PMS, lack of sex drive, joint pain, bad breath, thrush, depression, dry skin, ulcers and many more!


List of Alkaline and Acid Foods:

Alkaline Foods

Vegetables

Asparagus
Artichokes
Cabbage
Lettuce
Onion
Cauliflower
Radish
Swede
Lambs Lettuce
Peas
Courgette
Red Cabbage
Leeks
Watercress
Spinach
Turnip
Chives
Carrot
Green Beans
Beetroot
Garlic
Celery
Grasses (wheat, straw, barley, dog, kamut etc.)
Cucumber
Broccoli
Kale
Brussels Sprouts

Fruits

Lemon
Lime
Avocado
Tomato
Grapefruit
Watermelon (is neutral)
Rhubarb

Drinks

'Green Drinks'
Fresh vegetable juice
Pure water (distilled, reverse osmosis, ionized)
Lemon water (pure water + fresh lemon or lime).
Herbal Tea
Vegetable broth
Non-sweetened Soy Milk
Almond Milk

Nuts & Grains

Almonds
Pumpkin
Sunflower
Sesame
Flax
Buckwheat Groats
Spelt
Lentils
Cumin Seeds
Any sprouted seed

Fats & Oils

Flax
Hemp
Avocado
Olive
Evening Primrose
Borage
Oil Blends (such as Udos Choice)

Others

Sprouts (soy, alfalfa, mung bean, wheat, little radish , chickpea, broccoli etc.)
Bragg Liquid Aminos (Soy Sauce Alternative)
Hummous
Tahnini

Acid Foods

Meats

Pork
Lamb
Beef
Chicken
Turkey
Crustaceans
Other Seafood (apart from occasional oily fish such as salmon)

Dairy Products

Milk
Eggs
Cheese
Cream
Yogurt
Ice Cream

Others

Vinegar
White Pasta
White Bread
Wholemeal Bread
Biscuits
Soy Sauce
Tamari
Condiments (Tomato Sauce, Mayonnaise etc.)
Artificial Sweeteners
Honey

Drinks

Fizzy Drinks
Coffee
Tea
Beers
Spirits
Fruit Juice
Dairy Smoothies
Milk
Traditional Tea

Convenience Foods

Sweets
Chocolate
Microwave Meals
Tinned Foods
Powdered Soups
Instant Meals
Fast Food

Fats & Oils

Saturated Fats
Hydrogenated Oils
Margarine (worse than Butter)
Corn Oil
Vegetable Oil
Sunflower Oil

Fruits

All fruits aside from those listed in the alkaline column.

Seeds & Nuts

Peanuts
Cashew Nuts
Pistachio Nuts

General Guidance:

Stick to salads, fresh vegetables and healthy nuts and oils. Try to consume plenty of raw foods and at least 2-3 liters of clean, pure water daily.

Steer clear of fatty meats, dairy, cheese, sweets, chocolates, alcohol and tobacco. Packaged foods are often full of hidden offenders and microwaved meals are full of sugars and salts. Microwaving and over cooking also removes all of the nutrition from a meal!

For more information: http://www.energiseforlife.com

Summers Over!

Eat fresh. Eat local. Eat in season.
and...
Are You Addicted to Stress and Drama?

This month we celebrate the end of summer and the arrival of Fall...
The time of the Harvest.

And in Part 2, I ask... Are you or someone you know, addicted to Drama... an interesting thing to think about and change.

I have also updated my “Original Blog”. I forward the email of my blog to you all monthly... However if you click on this link:

www.TheUrbanShaman.blogspot.com

I have added some new features which include resources for Green Living, I have a link to see how Green your household is and how to be more efficient, music, art, and some of my groovy friends blogs.
They are listed under: “Other Groovy Souls and Helpful Sites”.
Please click on the link and be forwarded to and explore...The “NEW” Urban Shaman...

Please pass this information to your friends and family... Pass the Love around! Also, if you have any suggestions for future blogs... Use the “comments” button on the bottom of this months blog... or email me at: TheUrbanShaman@aol.com.

Life is not just a journey... make it an adventure! ENJOY!!!!...

Peace N' Blessings,
Gail Oliver


Eat fresh.
Eat local.
Eat in season.

Top 10 reasons to buy local:

1. Locally grown food tastes better. Food grown and sold locally is crisp, sweet, and loaded with flavor because it is picked less than 2 days before it reaches your hands. Produce flown or trucked in from California or Chile spends a week or longer in transition from field to plate, enough time for sugars to turn to starches, plant cells shrink, and produce to lose vitality.

2. Local produce is better for you. Studies show that fresh produce loses nutrients quickly once harvested. Food that is frozen or canned soon after harvest is more nutritious than "fresh" produce that spends a week on a truck or supermarket shelf. Locally grown food, purchased soon after harvest, retains its nutrients.

3. Local food preserves genetic diversity. Local farms tend to grow a large variety of plants, instead of only a limited number of varieties that can withstand the harvest and marketing process. This variety provides a harvest all season long, an array of brilliant colors and flavors, as well as preserves the genetic material from hundreds of years of human selection.

4. Local food is GMO-free. Since biotechnology companies currently only license to large factory-style farms, local farmers don't have access to genetically modified seed, and most of them wouldn't use it.

5. Local food supports local farm families. Direct markets, selling directly to consumers, cut out the middleman allowing local farmers to receive the full retail price for their food. With commodity prices at historic lows and farmers getting less than 10 cents of the retail food dollar, supporting local farms mean that farm families can afford to stay on the farm, doing the work they love.

6. Local food builds community. When you buy direct from the farmer, you are re-establishing a time-honored connection between the eater and the grower. Knowing the farmers gives you insight into the seasons, the weather, and the miracle of raising food. Relationships built on understanding and trust can thrive.

7. Local food preserves open space. As the value of direct-marketed fruits and vegetables increases, selling farmland for development becomes less likely. Lush fields of crops, meadows of wildflowers, and wild open landscapes will survive only as long as farms are financially viable. When you buy locally grown food, you are doing something proactive about preserving the agricultural landscape.

8. Local food keeps your taxes in check. Farms contribute more in taxes than they require in services, as opposed to suburban development. On average, for every $1 in revenue raised by residential development, governments must spend $1.17 on services, requiring higher taxes of all taxpayers. For each dollar of revenue raised by farm, forest, or open space, governments spend 34 cents on services.

9. Local food supports a clean environment and benefits wildlife. A well-managed family farm is a place where the resources of fertile soil and clean water are valued and diversity is welcomed. The habitat of a farm, with fields, meadows, woods, ponds and buildings, is the perfect environment for many species of wildlife, including bluebirds, killdeer, herons, bats, and rabbits.

10. Local food is about the future. By supporting local farmers today, you are helping to ensure that future generations will have access to nourishing, flavorful, abundant, farm fresh food. www.sustainablefoodcenter.org

Fall Harvest:

• Garlic, Leeks, Onions, Shallots
• Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage,
Cauliflower
• Belgian Endive, Chard, Escarole, Radicchio,
Spinach, Mushrooms
• Beets, Celery Root, Parsnips, Potatoes,
Radishes, Rutabagas, Turnips
• Artichokes, Bell Peppers, Eggplants,
Pumpkins, Winter Squashes
• Apples, Apricots, Grapes, Pears

Please check the listing under “Other Groovy Souls and Helpful Sites”, on my Blog Page... www.TheUrbanShaman.Blogspot.com
and click “Local Harvests in Your Area” to find the local farms and farmer’s markets in your area.

Low-sodium diet:
Why is processed food so salty?
Why do processed foods contain so much sodium?

Mayo Clinic dietitian Katherine Zeratsky, R.D., L.D., and colleagues answer select questions from readers.

Answer: Salt (sodium chloride) helps prevent spoiling by drawing moisture out of food so bacteria can't grow. Salt also kills existing bacteria that might cause spoiling. At one time, salting was one of the only methods available to preserve food. But today, food manufacturers have many other preservation methods available — such as refrigeration, freezing, dehydration, irradiation and chemical preservatives.

So why do they continue to use salt?

There are many reasons. In addition to making food more flavorful, salt makes soups thicker, reduces dryness in crackers and pretzels, and increases sweetness in cakes and cookies. Salt also helps disguise metallic or chemical aftertaste in products such as soft drinks. Healthy adults need only between 1,500 and 2,400 milligrams (mg) of sodium a day. However, most Americans consume more than double that amount — due in large part to a heavy diet of processed foods.

To reduce sodium in your diet:

* Eat fewer processed foods such as potato chips, frozen dinners and cured meats.
* Choose foods labeled "low sodium" or "reduced sodium."
* Don't add salt to your food. Instead, use herbs and spices to flavor foods.
* Eat more unprocessed, fresh foods, such as fresh fruits, vegetables, lean meats,
poultry, fish and unprocessed grains.

Keep in mind that if you have high blood pressure, are African-American, are older than age 50, or have a chronic condition such as kidney disease or diabetes, you should aim for less than 1,500 mg of sodium a day.

Are You Addicted to Stress and Drama?

How many of you are in situations that are not fulfilling, that don't support or nurture your spirits. This pertains to jobs, friendships, relationships and all facets of your life. All of life requires a sense of balance.

If everything we do is because we have to, where is the joy?

Do you put more importance on things we do for other people than the things
(if we have the time) we do for ourselves?

Is there something you would do differently than what you are doing now if you had the chance?

So what's stopping you?

If it was possible to do whatever you wanted to do with your life from this day forward, what would that be?

Trusting and believing in your self is a major accomplishment in our society now. With all the negative energy being spread worldwide it's hard to trust anything going on. But know, you can trust yourself to fulfill all your dreams!

I recently read this from Published in: Perspective Rant The Human Condition Thought on those addicted to drama... it stated ”If you focus on something long enough your vision will tunnel, the thing that you focus on will become the only thing that you can see. I just don’t get people who hone in on one thing going wrong in their life and ignore everything else that is going right”. hum...

Are You An Adrenaline Junkie?

Seems somewhere along the way people became addicted to drama and stress in their lives. We see it everyday. We all have friends that no matter the day, they have this unbelievable drama in their lives. They seem to thrive on it. Their whole being is drama... if they don’t have it they create it. Sometimes “we” don’t even realize we are creating unnecessary drama in our own lives.

Consciously or unconsciously, all human beings use adrenaline to create intensity. The intensity thus produced is then discharged through a variety of emotional states. These reactions may include anxiety or fear, anger or excitement. Regardless how they are expressed emotionally or physically, all these responses are fueled by adrenaline.

Used as a drug for this effect, adrenaline's intensity helps human beings repress the terror, and the wonder, of embracing their essential pain. That pain, at the deepest levels, rises from chronic or unresolved feelings of loss, abandonment, and disconnection. When the underlying reservoir of essential pain is significant, the individuals affected seem compelled, often unconsciously, to generate abnormal amounts of adrenaline to repress that pain.

The intensity of life becomes more vital than it's quality. That, in sum, is Adrenaline Addiction. Our society has mislabeled this entire process. We project the origins for this turmoil externally, and call it "stress". Individuals (and their guides) focus their attentions on reducing “job stress" or "economic stress" or "relationship stress" or what have you. In chemical dependency, for example, the source of this "stress" becomes "his drinking" or "her nagging."

Through the mechanism of the use of the term "stress", we become detached and insulated from reality. That truth is that we alone are ultimately responsible for our own choices. Thus, through adrenaline, we remain free to maintain unnaturally high levels of what has become required intensity. This process allows us to repress, at least temporarily, the emergence of our essential pain.

From, Addicted to Adrenaline.Copyright @ 1995 Larry I. Meadows

Got Healthy self esteem?

The truth is that we alone are ultimately responsible for our own choices. The only person we can control is ourselves. Trying to change another person to fit our needs and wants is like trying to teach a moose to fly.... It ain’t gonna happen. If we continue to stay in a partnerships that are not what is for our deepest good, not meeting our needs or wants... It is our direct attack on ourselves. You have to love yourself in order to have someone love you... If you are not invested in yourself, why would anyone else want to be.

The following is the result of, and happens as the need for adrenaline goes unchecked and you do not address your insecurities.

Are you a Drama Junkie?

If the following checklist looks familiar to you, you may be a drama junkie. In essence, it means that you are drawn to people and situations that get your adrenaline flowing both in the positive and the negative. The positive highs in relationships are primarily associated with the earliest enchantment phase of love, so those feelings are not sustainable at a high level over time. Once the initial enchantment period fades, the drama junkie has to find other ways to get his or her “fix.” The following are examples, behavior patterns, that indicate you or someone you love may have this issue:

* Automatic negative assumptions about other people’s motives without checking them out; i.e., someone cancels a date or outing because of work overload and you assume they don’t care or isn’t invested in the relationship; you escalate the situation by going out and acting out in a dramatic fashion

* Feeling consumed with other people’s drama; talking endlessly about other people’s dramas; reacting to other people’s dramas; at the end of the day, little was accomplished in your life plan because all the focus was on your toxic relationship(s)

* Inability to handle stress without acting out (i.e., drinking, calling ten friends to complain about what happened, overeating, bingeing/purging, etc.)

* Rapid, knee-jerk reactions when other people say or do things you don’t like; i.e., he says he’ll be there by 7:00 and shows up at 8:00; by then, you’ve left the house and gone drinking with your friends OR the minute he gets in the door you go into a tirade

* Feeling compelled to escalate in relationships when you feel wounded in some way; i.e., she says it’s girls night but stays out until 2:00 a.m. and comes home drunk; you immediately toss her out on the front lawn

* Compulsive behavior when under stress in a relationship; i.e., she won’t answer her phone, so you text message her with angry words for the next two hours, trying to provoke a response.

If you’re dating someone who fits any of the above profile, you too, may be a drama junkie. People who really want serenity in their lives and relationships are so turned off by this behavior that when it appears, they quickly move on.

If you feel hooked and stay connected to a chaotic person for more than a couple of weeks, then you have the same issue. What can you do about this?

First, take a giant step back and look at your life. Get real about what you want and where you are currently headed. Be willing to sacrifice some excitement in favor of stability.

Second, Be with like minded friends or those you would like to emulate while in the process of getting rid of the drama filled friends of old...toxic relationships...

Then: Put your focus on what you want to accomplish in your life: create a vision, have goals, have a plan. People who are focused on making a real contribution in the world, whether it’s through a professional vocation (i.e., doctor, nurse, attorney, etc.), a career (helping a business grow), or creating something meaningful (i.e., write a book, paint a picture, act in a play, perform or create music, etc.), have little time or energy for the cycle of drama.

©2007 Nina Atwood

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Welcome to the August issue of my Blog...
www.TheUrbanShaman.blogspot.com

The theme for this month is:
Celestial Events... Heavens Light Show Non-Attachment

I hope you are enjoying these blogs... It is my pleasure to share this information to you all. This month we get to witness some heavenly sights... It's warm outside so pull up a chair, some tea or a glass of wine and enjoy the show... I have also included subject of Non Attachment for your reflection.

Please pass this information to your friends and family... Pass the Love around! Also, if you have any suggestions for future blogs... Use the “comments” button on the bottom of this months blog... or email me at: TheUrbanShaman@aol.com Life is not just a journey... make it an adventure!

ENJOY the rest of your summer!!!!...
Peace N' Blessings,
Gail Oliver

Celestial Events to Behold

Eclipse season kicks off in just a couple days.
August 28, 2007....

It is the time of the Pisces Full Moon, so the pressure for change and completion of old undermining patterns is already building. This brings to a head the need for healthy improvements in your life that you began to target last Fall.

All of North America will witness some portion of the eclipse, but western observers are favored. The early penumbral or umbral phases will be in progress at moonset for observers in Maritime Canada. From the eastern USA, the Great Lakes region and Ontario, the Moon sets in total eclipse. Only observers to the west of the Rockies (including Alaska) will be treated to the entire event.

The Aurigid Meteors

The Perseid meteor shower has come and gone, but that doesn't mean that there aren't any more good meteor displays to look forward to. In fact, another potentially good shower is just around the corner, scheduled to reach its peak during the early hours of Saturday, September 1st: the Aurigid meteors.

Aurigid outbursts are very infrequent, having been definitively seen on only three occasions: in 1935, 1986 and 1994. That moment (4:37 a.m. Pacific Daylight Time) favors the far-western parts of the United States, where the constellation Auriga will be about two-thirds up in the northeast sky around the time morning twilight begins. If you live in Portland, San Francisco or Los Angeles, you'll be in perfect position to view the meteors.

The Aurigids get their name from the constellation of Auriga, the Charioteer. The meteors appear to emanate from a spot in the sky near the bright yellowish star Capella in Auriga. The Aurigids, however, are rarely mentioned in most astronomy guidebooks because they are hardly worth mentioning in any given year. Then why bother about a shower that almost nobody has heard of and that's due this year just days after a bright full moon? Because in 2007, these unheralded Aurigids are this summer's wild card. Unlike the steady and reliable Perseids, little or no activity is usually seen from the Aurigids. Yet, every once in a great while a short-lived outburst of bright meteors has been reported from the Aurigid shower. Peter Jenniskens of the SETI Institute's Carl Sagan Center has recently shown that these rare outbursts of Aurigid activity were caused by a comet which ejected a trail of dust that very occasionally wanders into the Earth's path.

Non-Attachment
Gail Oliver © 2005

Non-attachment is a tricky subject to say the least, and to understand it is a challenge. In my reading, I was always intrigued by the concept of Non-Attachment. It seemed an impossible theory to understand, let alone practice. The definition of Non-Attachment is not in any dictionary because the word does not really exist in English. Nirvana, a Sanskrit word, and one I’m sure you have at least heard has many spiritual definitions. The definition closest to non-attachment is: one free from suffering, death, rebirth and all worldly bonds.

The closest word in the dictionary is: “Detachment”
1. the action or process of detaching :
2. separation
3. indifference to worldly concerns : Aloofness b : freedom from bias or prejudice.

Based on this definition… I never thought this was something I would want to do. Why would I want to be aloof, or separate myself from people (I am an only child anyway). So what is non-attachment? Non-attachment is not grasping. Not clinging. Not Possessing.

Let me break it down...

By nature and by programming, we are taught at an early age to put importance on the things and people in our lives. A saying comes to mind; the one with the most toys wins. It is then no small wonder that by the time we reach adulthood, most of us define ourselves by the things we have and the people we associate with. When something threatens to take these people and things from us, we do anything in our power to hold on. These things take on a life of their own… ours. We are so desperate to hold on to what we perceive defines us as a person, we lose sight of who we really are. This is a reason for us to take a deep look at ourselves, and, how we relate to these things and people that surround us.

As we look at the people in our lives, our friends, our lovers, our children, we tend to keep these folks close. We are attached to them. We don’t want to lose them. We fear losing them as a miser fears losing his money. Because of this fear, our vision is clouded and, the sad thing is we never learn how to just “have” these people and things in our lives. We should enjoy their presence in our lives in the moment. We instead try to possess and control the people in our lives which never works in the long run. Remember this one? If a Butterfly lands in your hands, let it go…If it returns, it was meant to be. If it doesn’t, it was never yours. If you grab it, you kill it. There are some people that get so attached to the people in their lives they become deranged and desperate when they leave, unfortunately we see the reactions to this loss on the news form time to time. They remind me of the of the alternative ending of the above quote… If the Butterfly does not return, track it down and kill it.

It is when we put so much in and on our associations with people that we lose them and become lost ourselves.

“It’s not who you know, it’s what you know”. Over the years this saying has been reversed to say, “it’s not what you know, it’s who you know”. In reality, it shouldn’t matter at all who, you know… if you know who “YOU” are. It is in this knowing of your power in believing in your true self that the principle of non-attachment is based. At the point in your life, when you acknowledge that you yourself are complete, and let go, that’s when anyone and anything will come into your life you desire. This is non-attachment.

On the flip side, our attachment and the need for things and people in our lives permanently, is a reflection of fear. We attach ourselves to many things every moment of our lives. We attach ourselves to our house, our car, our clothes, our jewelry, our jobs. All things we feel define us. We attach ourselves to people; our family, our lover, our friends and our children. Not realizing they are a gift to us, not a possession. We attach ourselves to routines, TV shows, places and feelings. We attach ourselves to everything we experience.

Attaching ourselves to a certain belief is dangerous too. I recently saw a movie that had a poignant example of attaching to a reaction of sudden loss. In the movie; a woman is suddenly abandoned by her husband. He seemingly just disappears off the face of the planet. But she, in her mind has it all figured out. He has run off with his secretary and left her to finish raising their four children… In her mind there could be no other explanation for his sudden disappearance She is ANGRY as hell to say the least. In her mind she feels betrayed and socially embarrassed, she spends months, years self-medicating her pain and nursing her new friend “anger”. She snaps at her children and is unsupportive to their dreams and berates their every idea. A man who is around trying to befriend her gets belittled at every turn. She becomes bitter and sarcastic, even going so far as to call the secretary in question and hangs up on her when she answers. Which is just one more validation for her anger. This goes on for the better part of the movie. Her children rebel and act out, as children often do. The man that has shown interest in her has had enough and walks away and refuses to acknowledge her calls and advances. She eventually calms down, mellows out and starts detaching from the anger she has fiercely attached herself to. She stops her self-destructive behavior. This process took 3 years for her to live out. As things calm back down, things return to a renewed semblance of normalcy. The truth is revealed. As it turns out, the decomposed body of a man is discovered in an old well shaft on the property where she and her children live. It is her husband. It turns out the reaction to her husband’s disappearance, was that of anger. She became hateful and closed, her life was fueled and consumed by the anger she attached her mind to believe for 3 years. She broke down realizing the time she wasted living in anger, alienating her family and friends, drinking and her self-destructive behavior, all behind what she thought she knew to be true. All this wasted life behind what turned out to be a tragic accident. Imagine, maybe this man was yelling for help for a few days, but because of the woman’s anger and drinking… no one heard his pleas for help. This movie is an excellent example of attachment and how it can ruin your life if you let it.

So how do we stop? It’s impossible to live a solitary life to stay safe from hurt or broken hearts. We all need to interact with others to have a healthy existence. Detaching from people is not the idea here. It’s by learning to love these people without clinging to them, without neediness, and without desperation. If we learn to cherish these people in our lives in the moment and not take their presence in our lives for granted, we can have them. If for some unforeseen reason, they go away or are taken away from us, we can look back fondly and be grateful for the time with them we were afforded. If we do not learn this, and people leave us for whatever reason, we can become distraught, and suffer great anxiety and pain.

When we put so much credence in people and things, we set ourselves up for pain, and our self-worth becomes contingent on symbols of “self”. This is dangerous because people and things (symbols) come and go in and out of our lives. When these symbols are lost to us we feel empty and react emotionally. We forget that we have ourselves. We a born alone… We die alone…And the rest of life’s precious gifts are in a constant state of movement. After all, I’ve never seen a U-Haul following a Hearst.

We tend to put too much energy and time into acquiring and maintaining these symbols. In Los Angeles, we are a car culture. Which has spawned a society of being judged by the kind of car people drive. I have a friend who was the epitome of this phenomenon. When I met him, he had a Range Rover. No property, no savings, but he looked good. His total worth was wrapped up in a thing. He had a second car, however not as cool, a fully restored 87 Jeep Cherokee Limited. One Friday, the Rover was not running and the parts were not available until Monday. I watched as this man became frustrated and became despondent. I innocently reminded him he had another car in the garage, I didn’t see any problem. He eventually calmed down and reconciled himself to use the “not-so-cool” car. I really was not getting this at all. As it turned out his whole identity and self worth was in this image of who he saw himself to be in “The Rover”. Fast-forward 6 years… The Rover blew up… Lost! During this time the man borrowed other people’s cars and rode the bus, no one really saw him socially until he emerged with his next identity, an $80,000 Porsche. I see him around town from time to time, but the funniest place I saw him was being parked at the laundry mat washing clothes. I guess owning a Maytag is not the same as driving a Porsche. I was tickled. By the way, the Jeep runs like a top, It just turned 198,000 miles and gets me wherever I need to be dependably, without all the fanfare and attention.

This is an example of how symbols are transitory in our lives and needing them to define who we are leaves us lost, fearful and empty when they are taken away. Because of this attachment to the thing, we have exchanged our self for and symbol of self. In the long run, chasing the symbols of self is like settling for a grape, when we could have the vineyard.

When we practice non-attachment, we have the power of wealth, happiness and the ability to create anything our hearts desire. That is because nothing and no one is responsible, or, is the reason for our joy, what we chose to create, or what we achieve. Non-attachment is trusting that your intentions and desires will be met without having attachment to any certain outcome. How free is that! When we detach from the outcome we in turn have the freedom to create whatever we want. Our problems are then solved in ways we can’t even imagine. When you focus on your intention and desire, then step back on let it go of (detach) your idea of a specific outcome, you will have an outcome that far exceeds your expectations.

Ultimately, this Universe can teach us that, through non-attachment, we cannot control anyone or anything other than ourselves. When we grasp at people they stay away. When we covet a thing, we are sure to lose it. People and things are on a transitory journey in and out of our lives at all times. The only constant is you. You are still you, with or without these things. They do not define who you are.

When you detach yourself from things and you are powerful and secure in your “self”, you can receive all the things you desire. They become icing on your already stand alone and perfectly baked cake. When you detach from people in you life for one reason or another, and are secure and powerful in your “self”, you will have them, or someone better in your life.
When we let it go… And let it be…
This is the only way we can truly have the very thing we desire.

Live the Let Go!!!

Welcome to the July issue of my Blog...www.TheUrbanShaman.blogspot.com

It’s Been a Year!!!
"Happy 1st Anniversary"
to
"The Urban Shaman Blog"
Thank You for your Support...

The theme for this month is:
Being your Best You...
By Gettin' Out of Your Own Way!

I hope you are enjoying these blogs...
It is my pleasure to share this information to you all.

This month’s article is a "revisit" or continuation, if you will...
“Expectations”... Part 2

I recently observed how when, what we expect doesn’t go our way, or happen the way we want, we sometimes forget to BREATHE before we react thus causing negative results... the disappointment and general funky-ness that we act out, sometimes has detrimental effects on the others in our lives who... usually have nothing to do with our drama. When we stay focused in the present moment, and take a step back (breathe), we then can react with Grace, Kindness and with more Self-control.

Life is not just a journey... make it an adventure!

ENJOY The Ride!
Peace N' Blessings,
Gail Oliver

Expectations.... part 2

We all have ideas of the way we want things to turn out.
We expect certain results to come from our actions.
We desire certain outcomes.

People often say. “Don’t have any expectations.” But that is not realistic. We are going to have expectations, just as we are going to have judgments, fears and desires. It doesn’t make sense to try and get rid of our expectations, just as it doesn’t make sense to try to get rid of our judgments, fears and desires.

The real issue is ‘How do we hold our expectations when they come up?”

If we try to impose our expectations on the reality at hand, we will be disappointed if they are not met. If we pretend not to have expectations, we will be dishonest with ourselves and others.

Instead of imposing or denying our expectations, we just want to be aware of them and hold them with compassion. Then, we can accept the outcome regardless of whether our expectations are met.

Expectations arise in consciousness just as do fears, desires and judgments. We need to be aware of them and let them be. We don’t need to hold onto them or push them away.

Life doesn’t always show up the way we want it to. In fact, it could be said that the more we want it to show up a certain way, the less chance there is that it will happen that way. Our attachment to specific results often puts pressure on ourselves and others. It makes it more difficult for things to unfold naturally. As a result, we experience struggle and resistance.

The best results happen when we are CLEAR about what we want, COMMUNICATE well with others and DO THE BEST WE CAN. Then, we can live without regret. Even if things show up differently from the way we expect them to, we don’t take this personally. We don’t feel that we have failed or that we are being punished.

Instead, we try to accept the situation as it is and learn what we can from it. We don’t stuff our disappointment and frustration, but acknowledge them, while keeping our hearts and our minds open. We know that things change, and what appeared to be a setback can sometimes become a blessing in disguise.

Life has its ups and downs, its ebb, and its flow. The same can be found in our own lives. Sometimes we are joyful; other times we are sad. Sometimes we are confident and loving and sometimes we are fearful and defensive. Our lives are composed of waves of thought and feeling. External events have the same fluctuations.

When we are patient, we know that things are always changing. Peaks become valleys. Sadness yields to joy. What seems like failure might be success in disguise. Life is not always what it appears to be. We have to surrender what we know to discover what we don’t know.

Sidebar: When we have expectations from manipulative or covert intentions... we will always have disappointments... The key is to always be honest with yourself and set honest intentions with no hidden agendas, then you won't be sittin' around lookin' 'tupid (yes I meant that) because it didn't go your way.
The truth will always set you free, even if it is from yourself.

Staying in the Present

Regardless of what happened yesterday, last week or last year, we have a new situation with new choices available to us right now. The pain or frustration of the past does not have to become present pain or frustration. Even if the external situation seems the same as it did in the past, we can bring a new perspective to it.

The present always offers us a different look at or a different choice, if we are willing to see it.

The question is “Are we willing.”

To be sure, it is easier to see the past than it is to see the present. The past does not change. We know what it looks like, so we don’t have to be alert. Seeing the past lulls us to sleep. Being in the present requires our full, conscious attention. The best way to put our past behind us is to learn from it...

If you want to see someone skilled in being in the present, observe athletes in a basketball, football, or hockey games. The action is constantly changing. Every pick or roll or block or check creates new possibilities. Seeing those possibilities as soon as they emerge is essential.

If we are to be successful in our lives, we need to cultivate our ability to be present and alert. Having an open mind and open heart helps us stay alert in the present moment. When we are alert, we bring patience, flexibility, and willingness to each situation. We sink down through our judgments, our desires and our fears to the essence of our being, where we can respond uniquely and appropriately to the situation at hand.

From... Grace Unfolding. By, Paul Ferrini